Most of us, if given the choice, would work with people who think the way we do.  It's hard to find a whole office full of kindred spirits, though, which leads to a great deal of silent suffering. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could just banish all the people who annoy us?  Since that isn't going to happen, how about ridiculing them instead?

It works for me.

I imagine my co-workers as animals in the Workplace Zoo.   There's Sammy the Seal, who gets to work early and lets everyone know it by talking at the top of his lungs, telling corny jokes and laughing LOUDLY.  He'll do anything for attention – sing, dance, bang on the file cabinets like Ricky Ricardo with his bongo drum – anything except get to work.

Cathy the Cat heads right for the lunchroom, where she inspects the sink to see if anyone left any dirty dishes there, or used up her dishwashing liquid, or took any of her styrofoam cups.  When she finally gets to her desk, she complains about all the infractions she's noted and adds that the refrigerator is dirty and she isn't going to clean it.

Joe the Jackass gets right on the phone and starts making personal calls.  He keeps it up all morning, then goes to lunch.  When he gets back, he tells his supervisor he's stressed out and needs to go home.

Polly the Parrot starts her day by relating everything that happened at her house the evening before – what her husband said, what her son said, what the dog did.  Then she repeats every weird story she's heard on tv or read in the newspaper that morning, the more gruesome, the better.

Mr. Ed, the workhorse, is the only one actually focused on the job.  He comes in early, leaves late, and works through his coffee breaks and lunches.  As a reward, he gets a triple workload dumped on him.  That's why he talks to himself nonstop.

The rest of us, assorted bears and walruses and hippos (not saying which describes me) keep bumbling along, waiting for the keepers to arrive and toss us a paycheck. 

Click here to find a career you can be passionate about
 

Margaret Morris is a freelance writer who has been writing for most of her life, quite often for her own amusement and sometimes for the amusement of her co-workers.  She has been published online in Moondance.
 
 
 

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