1.  Keep a tight rein on your tongue

How you say something counts for far more than what you say.  How many times have you been chastised on the job by your supervisor, and you walked away angry because of the tone of voice used?  When confronted with a difficult situation, always say less than you think.  Curbing your tongue in a stressful situation will be more likely to create fewer stressful situations because how you handle yourself in a crisis will give others confidence in you and in their ability to bring problems and issues to your attention. 

2.  Be careful what you promise to others

If you intend to make promises, you had better be prepared to keep them, no matter what the cost.  The easiest way to lose the respect of others is by guaranteeing things that you are either unable or unwilling to deliver.  When you tell someone that you intend to do something, it is your responsibility to see to it that you follow through.  Others will note an irresponsible attitude and be wary of approaching you on any level in the future if you continually break your promises.

3.  Be kind and encouraging to others

Never let an opportunity to show kindness or encouragement to others to pass you by.  Praise good work, regardless of who did it.  Sometimes you can turn even the most hardened of your fellow workers into real softies once they realize that you are not afraid to compliment them or give encouraging words, despite how they may perceive you ordinarily.  At the same time, when giving criticism, do it helpfully and gently, never spitefully.  Show concern for another's feelings and well being.  You will benefit greatly from even the smallest kindness shown.

4.  Take an interest in other people

Learn about others' interests, their homes and families, and even their problems.  Gaining the confidence of fellow workers is made much easier when you demonstrate that you have a caring attitude.  When others are joyful, rejoice with them; when troubled or in mourning, be sympathetic.  Let everyone with whom you have contact, no matter how humble, realize that you regard them as people of importance.

5.  Be cheerful

We all carry a load of some sort, and although the old saying "misery loves company" is still widely held up as truth, keep in mind that making others miserable is truly a disservice.  Don't dwell on your minor aches and pains and small disappointments.  Maintaining a cheerful attitude at all times will not only make others more comfortable in your presence, but you will feel better as well.

6.  Keep an open mind

Don't let yourself get into arguments.  Discuss things with people rather than argue.  Being disagreeable is likely to put others off; they will much prefer to deal with those who have a calm and reasoned approach.  When confronted with a situation that you either disapprove of, or dislike, keep this in mind: it is the mark of a superior mind that can disagree without being disagreeable.

7.  Be mindful of only your own vices and virtues

Refuse to discuss others' vices or problems.  Don't allow gossip to rule your life.  Tearing down another to prop yourself up is an extraordinary waste of time; furthermore, it can be very destructive.  Especially in the workplace, morale is vitally important.  When we lift our voices against others, we open ourselves to the thought, "I wonder what they say about me behind my back!"

8.  Be careful of others' feelings

Humor at another's expense is rarely worth the trouble.  Not only that, the hurt and pain felt by that person will often come when least expected.  Take into account another person's feelings before you poke fun.  Things said in jest are often the sharpest barbs to be felt.

9.  Pay no attention to what others say about you

Remember, the person making snide or rude comments about you may not be well informed.  Live in such a way that what is said about you cannot be taken to heart.  Let your own actions determine how others see you, and that they will not believe the negative things said. 

10.  Don't worry about credit which is due you

Do your best.  It's the best you can do.  Concerning yourself about how much credit you receive will only burden you with more stress.  Let others see your work ethic, and you will be able to take pride and pleasure in a job well done.

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George M. Akerley is a freelance writer in Hartford, Connecticut.  He may be contacted by email at breathethatair@aol.com