Tips for Coping and Moving Forward

I was recently laid off; so I know what it is like to not have a job to go to.  A sudden job loss can be very unsettling, and it makes a person look inside in order to get perspective on the situation.

I feel fortunate, though, that I have been building my coaching practice over the last couple of years while working full time.  Now, I am able to transition into coaching full time.  But still, not seeing the same faces everyday, having deadlines, and an office to go to, takes some getting used to.

The best thing about this experience is that I now have the opportunity to create whatever I want with my future.  I could coach full-time.  I could go into consulting.  I could freelance using my skills as a trade shows and events expert. But whichever way I go, I know that this is the start of a new adventure.

For me, the job loss was a blessing; and it can be a blessing for you.  Yes, you may worry about how you will pay the bills, if you will get another job, and when the new job will come.  But you also have the opportunity to spend more time with your family, friends, and yourself.  You have time to do all the things you wished you had time for when you were working.  You can go to the gym, get outside more, and use the time to reevaluate your life and your career.  (And yes, this is a good thing.)

So how do you make peace with what just happened to you and create a new future? I have 7 tips for you: 

1. Recognize That Losing Your Job Was Not Your Fault

Yes, there is some relief knowing that the inevitable has finally happened vs. the waiting to see if you will go next.  But there is still a little part deep inside you that wonders if it was your fault.  Maybe if you worked harder, then this would not have happened.  Maybe if you worked weekends, evenings, etc., it would have been some else that was cut. Maybe if you participated in office politics more, you would still have a job. 

All these thoughts drain your energy and take away from the contributions you made when you were there.  Your company was not doing well.  They had to cut costs, and you were one of the people they cut.  This is all there is to it. Period.  Stop making it mean something more.

2. Decide What's Important to You

You probably have put YOU on hold for years as you have been spending all your time figuring out how to mold yourself to be someone else.  You worried about what your boss thought of you, what his or her boss thought of you, and what your co-workers thought of you.  You spent many evenings trying to calm down or figure out what to do with a co-worker or boss that was driving you crazy.  All of this is gone (if only
temporarily) and now you get to decide what is important to you.  What makes you happy? What gets you excited? These are questions that you can answer because you have been given the gift of time to do so.

3. Recognize That the Time Off Is a Blessing

Things in life happen for a reason. There was some purpose for you to stop and reassess how you have been living your life at this point.  Why do you think this happened now?  Were you working too hard? Were you neglecting yourself?  Was your family screaming for you to spend more time with them? Now is the time to see if your former lifestyle will fit your future one.  Use the time wisely because an opportunity like this one may never come again.

4. Decide What You Will Do Next

Will you stay in the same career?  Will you do something different?  Will you start your own business?  Or, will you decide to scale down your lifestyle so you can stretch out the time before you go back to work?  There is no right or wrong choice, only what calls to you.   Trust your instinct. The answer is inside you.  It is up to you if you will take the time to listen.

5. Put an Action Plan In Place

Now that you have free time, how will you make it as productive as it can be?  How many resumes will you send out each week?  How many hours each day will you spend searching for jobs online and in the paper? How many people will you talk to, and how many e-mails will you send out?  Your job search does not have to consume you, but having a daily plan will keep you from sitting in front of the TV saying "I really should be looking for another job!"

6. Get Support

Enlist the help of a friend, spouse, coach, colleague, etc.  Someone who will listen and support you through this transitional period in your life. Looking for a job can be frustrating, time consuming, and disappointing.  Remember that you do not have to do it alone.

7. Reward Yourself

Yes, the final reward is finding a new job, but there are milestones that can be rewarded along the way. Sent your resume to five employers?  Reward!  Went on one job interview this week?  Reward!  When you look back, you will know that you are not the same person you were before this happened.  And, you will smile to yourself because you know that this is a good thing!

So what do you say?  You only have one life to live so it might as well be one you love!

Click here to find a career you can be passionate about

Deborah Brown is a noted Career and Mentor Coach who helps executives and professionals find jobs they love, excel at the ones they have, start their own businesses, and find time for themselves. She also hosts the "Life After The Layoff" telephone coaching groups that help laid off executives use the power of a group to find their next jobs quickly. To learn more visit: www.surpassyourdreams.com, send an e-mail to info@surpassyourdreams.com or call (516) 432-2440.

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